Back to Square One ...

Hello Friends .... A hearty Thanks to all of you who have graciously provided some valuable insights over my last article ... Also special thanks to all those who specifically maintained to post some comments with some extremely innovative words over the "Phone" .....



However as it is said that, every dark cloud has a silver lining; for me it seems to be very true. Only with a slight variation though ..... Since for me, after every Silver Lining (even if it is the Thinnest of Tin Lining), there looms a very Dark Cloud. It happens every time. Whenever it seems that for me the good time has arrived finally, suddenly I found out that the Good Time was just an illusion only ... It was actually the beginning of a very bad period .....

So, co-operating with the Dark clouds have become my day to day activity ... And typically the "Tin Lining"s have become my act of a break from my 'Normal' schedule .....

So you must be thinking that, this suites only to this pathetic preaching moron ... Hold on dude, I mentioned that Dark Clouds are the inherent part of my regular and 'Normal' schedule .....
However, this does not hold at all when I am on my own 'Abnormal' schedule ...

During those 'Abnormal' schedule I am totally with my own Freaking mind, having fun in my own Freaking ways ... In those cases there are no Dark Clouds, there are always bright Sunlight shining ... So, now what is exactly this 'Abnormal' schedule ??? Let me put it straight, there is absolutely nothing scheduled at all in this 'Abnormal' schedule ... Nothing is permanent, everything is variable & hence you take decisions at the drop of a Hat, you enjoy your every breath to the fullest, you don't think about the result and just do what your instinct says .... You just accept whatever you get, you enjoy every detail of the landscape around you, you be happy with everything around ..... So, does this mean merely Freaking out ???

Let me tell you a Story ... A Small Story .... A very freakingly beautiful Story ..... For those who are looking for any spicy Gossip you can click the Cross at the Top right Hand Corner of your Screen, for others those who just want to see what lies beneath, are Welcome to carry on :-P .....


It is Night, 1 am ... you are in your Bed like any other sane and sensible person (only 'Single' in my case ;-)) ... Everybody around you is sleeping peacefully ... Suddenly you feel you need to have some fast cool breeze in your face ... So, what you do, you slip out ... You carefully take the Bike's keys & your Gate keys, Unlock your Gate, you creep out silently, you lock the Gate and in the very next Minute you are travelling at over 100 Km/hr with your Helmet Visor up, to a destination 81 Km away ..... A million thoughts that were crowding your sh**ty brain couple of moments ago, suddenly they vanish ... Just like that ..... In the dead of the night, you are whizzing past the almost-empty Road ..... Couple of idiotic college level drunkards in their pathetic garbage of a car sway along merrily ... You just blaze past those f***ed up idiots ..... Some sl**ty girls move in and out of the nightclubs which you just whisk past ... You see the hookers waiting for their daily doze of income as they just daze at you blasting through the Empty Road ..... You carefully avoid the corrupt bribe-loving cops in your own twisted map kind of way ... You avoid sh**ty potholes, you avoid the jerks all around and finally after another couple of minutes of dodging around, you get to catch the Highway ..... Those who have driven in Night in highway will be knowing this, others just believe me, the beautifully Street-Light-lit Highway beneath that enormous never-ending black Dome kissing the Horizon is a Treat to watch ..... With nothing but the Street-Lights to gaze at you as you zoom past each of them, puts a grin in your face .... Occassionally you get to see some backlights of some Big rusty trucks momentarily ... Carefully dodging all of them you head away for the fast sweeping turns and beautifully pitched tarmac ahead ..... You are racing with yourself, you are Racing with the Time .....

After this gruelling ride you reach the dhaba 81 Km away from your home ... The chronometer in your watch reads 48:35 sec and still counting ... You hastily stop that as you halt and remove your Helmet ..... Despite the cool breeze, your face and your palms continues sweating ..... Those who ride regularly, they would be knowing that riding really fast, actually takes out a lot of energy from your body ..... So, replenish, whenever you can .... You get in the Dhaba, have a Lassi, light up a smoke and look at your ride proudly (there is something called pride of ownership after all), still grinning from your accomplishment .....

Suddenly all of your balloons of pride shrinks to deflation like anything as you see that due to your gruelling ride, the Ride itself couldn't take it any more ... It ditched you like every other mortal being and mocking at your idiocy with a Flat tyre ...... I told you, every silver Lining has a dark Cloud looming behind ... :-D

What ????? A Flat Tyre ???? What are you going to do in the middle of the night ??? So, again you are bound to get back to terms as you start thinking about your possible course of action ... You must not have thought about this even in your wildest of the nightmares while you were slipping out of your sweet little cozy bed ... You must be cursing your decision right now a million times and swear to never come out again at night .... Or, will you not ????? ;-)


No ... Definitely not ... Friends, from here on let me carry on with my own narration only .... At that moment though I was cursing my decision for not planning for this consequence earlier ... But, one thing I knew that, in the Dhaba I was not alone ... Quite a few of the Truck-Drivers were also having some Food out there ... I asked them whether they can help me in that situation, though I knew they won't be having any of the equipments with which I could mend my Bike's flat tyres ... But, I did not need to mend my Bike's tyres there at night at all ... I knew it very well that, it is always better to wait for the morning and get the right equipments at the bike mechanic's place .... What I needed was to befriend the Truck-Drivers there ... These Truck-Drivers usually have a nasty and rude behaviour or they are Drunk most of the times, courtesy to their extremely risky yet monotonous and energy-sapping job ..... So, most of the times they are not in the best of their Mood and they will refrain themselves from providing any kind of favour to some unknown person except a fellow Truck-Driver ...

So, when I asked for help, they just looked at me pathetically, looked at my Bike even more pathetically and finally said in a muted voice which contained a lot of disgust; "wait in the Dhaba and move your Bike tomorrow Morning, or Hold your Bike's Handles and start walking" ..... It seemed that some kind of judge who is pissed off as usual after getting abused daily by his Wife at his home, has done a world of good by enacting a Community Service while uttering those few words with excruciating pain ..... I thought of giving him a mouthful, but I restrained myself as I knew right now I needed the help from these guys ... So, I checked my wallet, ordered another Lassi and sat down at the other corner of the bench where these guys were seating ... I keenly listened to what these guys were speaking about ... What I found out in delight was their lousy Topic of Discussion .....

I thought in my mind that, this is gonna be much easier than I had in my mind ..... These guys were talking about some of the Hindi Movie Actresses and the size of their "upper ventral region of the Torso" ... Well, I knew a bit of these statistics, so I suddenly commented from my end which made all of them turn to me ... I took the opportunity and indulged into the debate ..... They were having some relaxed discussion over the "Motherly Feature" of some "Number-Counting" Actress ..... Apparently this actress had made most of the 'Dewars' completely 'Deewana' ... So, all this Dewars were still fondly reminiscing the glimpses of the Motherly Protrusions that they witnessed ... I added some more spice by inviting another actress in between the discussion .... I explained them with some of the detailed analysis of the movies acted by some "Compassionate Kulkarni" which sold due to her only, was having a more voluptously Geomorphological properties ..... So, after successfully winning the debate with my trump card over their topic of discussion, the very successful "Number-Counting" actress of bollywood, I realized that I have got their confidence ... So, after finishing 3 glasses of Lassi and finishing the HOT topic jovially, most of the guys were preparing to leave ... I checked at my watch, it was 3:30 am .....

I knew this was my chance ..... I suddenly looked at my Bike with a very pensive insight and then looked at one of the Drivers ... He looked at me and asked if I intend to get back to City or if I had some other plans ..... I suppressed my ecstatic expression with extreme difficulty and slowly replied, "Yes, but my Bike is a lame one now ..." He grinned at me and asked "How about a Truck Ride ???" I nodded happily; as me, the Driver and his 2 Helpers, helped my Ride up the Truck's normal Load ... the Truck was loaded with Malt or something, filled in some of those old Rusty bags ..... While I asked, where shall I sit, the Driver looked clumsy ... This looked a bit of problem to him .... He could not ask his Helpers to sit out upon the cargo due to some unknown stranger ... They looked at each other as they have faced the biggest problem this World has ever known and now the World faces its gravest Danger due to this fact ..... I relieved all of them as I broke the silence by saying that I had childhood wish, to travel on top of a Truck's Cargo ... After a bit of artificial denying, they gleefully agreed to let me go up the Cargo .....

So, I went on top of the Cargo beside my beloved Yamaha, and promptly lied down on my back facing the big black Dome covering the million like me like a protective blanket, while the tiny Lights are just working as the Night Lamp ..... The Truck started moving ..... It was an amazing experience as I continued exploring the different patterns of the constellations up there .... The night looked wonderful as my makeshift Bed of mine continued rocking me like a Baby in a Cradle as the Truck moved ..... This liking to the rocking of the cradle must be few of those inherent senses one is born with, which brings sleep even in the most awkward of the conditions to most of the guys, irrespective of their Age ... I went fast asleep and must be murdering a hundred Pirates in the Ship while my Killing spree was halted abruptly as I was woken up by a sudden halt .... But, instead of getting pi**ed out over this unexpected interruption of my sweet sleep, I curiously looked around me ... The Truck came to a halt ... There were few Tree leaves within a few feet of me ... I turned over my back to look in front of the Truck .....


I looked out to see, a hundreds of trucks were lined infront of me waiting to get into the checkpost ... Hundeds of those Red backlights in the almost dark early morning, accompanied by the Orange Streetlights was Spectacular ... It was a Sight to behold .... I checked my watch, it was almost 4:30 am ..... I kept lying awake as I heard a mixed chatter of Engines Snarling, Check-post Guards Yelling, Drivers cursing each other, some Morning Birds tweeting-singing, Wind whistling through the leaves, my mind racing with a million of voices ..... I sat up and looked forward as slowly each of the Truck passed the check posts ... There were a few questions with me on top of the Truck, I don't know what exactly the Driver told to the Guard, but they did not wish to see me .....

Henceforth, till we reached the City, I sat firmly on top of the Driver's Shed ... Morning breeze chilled me to the bones as I kept puffing ciggarettes to counter the weather .... It was somewhere around 5:00 am, when our beloved Sun cared to creep up the Horizon right of me ..... I was more than happy to see the glowing Ball than ever before ..... Another half-an-hour and we reached the City ..... A lone mechanic just opened his shop and was sprinkling some water around his shop's gateway ... He hardly expected a big Truck to stop at his door-step and he propmptly started yelling that he doesn't know working upon the Trucks and Truck shops are up ahead .....

Without caring much, four of us started to haul down my 2-wheel companion ... As the Bike got down, seeing that made the mechanic calmed down ... I paid the Driver some 300 Rs. which he took gleefully after showing some initial dissent ..... He wished me lots of Good Luck in my life ahead, although I knew all of the wishes are going in vain ...

It took the mechanic about 15 minutes to mend off the flat tyre ... After paying him off, I checked my watch, it was 6:10 am ..... I knew in another 20-30 minutes my parents are going to wake up, so again I rode truly, madly, deeply to find myself home within next 20+ minutes ... I just blasted through the early Morning empty roads ..... I flung the Gate open, put my ride in, locked it down and rushed to my Room ..... The sounds must have awaken my Mom, as she looked out from their floor upstairs to find a quiet Locked Gate ... Next, she came to check me to find me deeply in sleep ... She tried to wake me up and being unable to do so, scolded me over my sleeping habit for about a minute or so ..... I drowsily uttered my intention to not to go to College as I intended to have a tight sleep .... Getting frustrated with me, she went back to her daily work ..... At that moment with a satisfying grin in my face I went back murdering Pirates ..... I needed that sleep badly .... My mother later said, even while sleeping I had the smile around my lips .....


So, what did I get from this Night-Out ????? Some, Adrenalin Rush ??? some wastage of money ??? A Flat Tyre ??? Confrontations & Discussions over some lousy topic with the foul tempered Truck-Drivers ??? A few glass of Lassi ??? A Truck Ride under the star-lit Sky ??? what ??? Are these really worth to crave for ???? Are these really worth to lose your sleep for ?????


Come on, what do you think guys ??? Ask yourself, what is the purpose of your Life ??? Money/Fame/Status/Large Family/Happiness in other's faces, what ????? Unless you are a Selfish bas**rd, you live around 75% of your life for someone else only ... You live for your parents/family/spouse/friends/kids/money/fame etc. etc. etc. .... The 25% that you spend on yourself, usually sleeping cozily only ... So friends, is it the sleeping time only left, for you to spend out with yourself ??? So, in your list of purpose you have found time for yourself to sleep, so that you can live for others again tomorrow ??? Come on, try to find some way to spend time for your own Happiness only ..... I know, Happiness is enjoyed more while shared, but believe me sometimes Happiness needs to be a bit private also, where you can be Happy for yourself only, just like the way a small Kid gets happy ..... Then only, you will be able to Enjoy every good things around you even more ..... Try to have some time for yourself and see the wonderful World and appreciate our worth and purpose in Life ..... So, that even from the most idiotic experiences also, you get a wonderful Story for the rest of your Life ...
Because you know, Silver Linings don't come that Often ...


Enough of the lecture friends ..... I believe a 50% of you guys reading this have already quit halfway down, another 25% have cursed me like anything after coming upto this end ... another 12.5% would be commenting upon the filthy philosophy that they found in this Story .... another 6.25% would be commenting upon my uselessness ..... another 3.125% would be misunderstanding my point ...... So, that leaves a very small (3.125%) section of people who might just understand, exactly what did I try to say, but won't be able to comprehend to the full ..... and a half of them... ...... Enough ............. Enough of the stats ... Let me tell you whatever small that number may be, it is Great !!!!! Because, that is also way beyond my expectation .....

More later ........ Take Care .........

P.S. :- And again, thanks for the Lovely comments that you have posted ... Due to some tight schedule I could not reply to you all at this moment, but I definitely will try to reply to you all .....
I will not Promise though (refer to my Previous Post ... he he he :-P) .....

Vent out the Dents - Freak Re-incarnated ...

I am Back .....
Thanks Friends ... Thanks for all of your affectionate Mails & lovely criticisms over my idiotic piece of s**t ..... And also apecial thanks to those who helped me add a few unique and valuable words in my Dictionary of slangs after caliing at 1:00 am .....

For all those who Loved me, Hated me and even given me a big damned **** over my pathetic point of view, I would like to oblige to my part of continuing of what I have started, that is Blogging out my point of View, no matter how much pathetic it may seem to a few guys .....

People always used to tell me that this is not my best choice of career, as I have chosen like most of the fringe guys in 'GREAT' country ... After passing my +2 levels, may be due to ignorance or may be due to my casual attitude I have followed the suit of most of the other guys out there .... I have chosen Computer to Ruin ... er ... Rule my Life ..... May be I have done a Mistake ... But, I am not complaining about that ..... I accept that mistakes are also part of our Life ... They actually shape your future and path and you end up being the person you are now ... May be with some other decision taken at some other point of time would have made me an entirely different person and may be I would not have been writing a Blog now and would have been doing some other kind of Boringly important stuff at this very moment ... I strongly believe that what exactly make you what you are today, are the numerous 'Decisions' that you have taken in your Journey of Life .....

I am happy about the fact that despite being a terrible Loser, I may have actually lived a life, which a number of people will be craving for ... I have done quite a few things in my Life, which I myself could never even thought of in a sane and normal mind ... I have done the most unexpected things one can imagine in an average Indian guy's Life .....

May be that is the reason why most of the people fail to understand me, may be that is why people fail to accept me, they try to outcast me and it is then I just shell myself in as a 'Hypocrite' and live a 'Normal' life as a sane and sensible person and carry on my regular and sensible duties .....
In each of those moments I somehow try hard to behave like a pathetic matured gentleman, I try not to show the idiots around (who always try to show-off) their real place, I sincerely try to keep my mouth from offending anybody's feelings by putting in the crude reality ..... Even if it shows me a stupid fool I still try to respect their pathetic sense of humour ..... And in worst cases if still I can not stand those fringe bas***ds, I act as the Joker who fools around (atleast nobody will take the words seriously, right ?????) ..... he he he he he .....

Well, enough of these filthy idiocy ..... Lets get back on Track ...
I grew up as an extremely promising kid, who never kept up his Promises and sometimes deliberately acted as a Forgetful Fool to provide the absolute cover for my 'Regularly Irregular' routine .....
So, due to my 'Regularly Irregular' and 'Responsibly Irresponsible' nature, I used to enjoy enough time to freak out ... However, the by-product of my desired leisurely Independence was that most of the time I got myself out of any major decision making by my Family, Friends, Club, Institute etc. etc. etc. .....
It is not that I used to complain ... Why should I ??? I enjoyed myself having fun knowing others are working while I am out of their view having my bit of fun ..... Rather in a perfected form of art of acting, sometimes I used to portray my artificial disliking over me having no proper role in any of the activities around .....
Since I was a born Rule-breaker, so sometimes I used to break my own Rule also and used to sweat it out, just to get a first hand experience of responsibilities ..... Also sometimes mere curiousity led me working on something to get experienced over a new opportunity at the drop of the hat ..... But you know there is a saying that, curiousity kills the Cat .....
It has always been that I am notoriously gifted of doing most of the things very nicely, may be it was due to some now-extinct artistic nature that was present in me or something else may be ..... So, when eventually others used to get encouraged over my working skills, the Panic button in my brain used to start ringing violently ..... My mind used to shudder over the fact that I will be doing the job in my hand for some extended period of time and may be I will be taken for granted for this job from next time onwards and I will horribly be missing the other opportunities of the experiences that I could possibly have ..... I would eventually be losing my carefree free-flowing life .... The result were instantaneous ... Suddenly the outcome of the job in my hand turns to give a 'terrible' result instead of being 'terrific' as it had been ... People used to get confused over this sudden Minima in my steadily increasing Graph, of work being taken into a form of Art .....
They would have then blamed it over my lack of concentration and lack of motivation and themselves getting more than 'tensed & eager' they would take the responsibility of their Job back ... hence I would eagerly clear my hand off in an artificially created mood with a very ashamed face ..... Shame on me ..... he he he ...
Though sometimes my Ideas used to backfire, as I had to really be ashamed in some of those cases ..... Those who knew me closely, they could really identify between the two extreme cases ..... Although my facial expression remained the same, I couldn't hide my ears getting Vermillion-Red when I was truly Ashamed ..... I have myself checked this infront of the mirror and found out that truly a very few people in this World could actually understand a bit of me .....
Inspite of the disgust or humiliation or anger or fear or the grief may be, in those moments this simple bit of fact used to make me Happy that, atleast somebody in the World tried to understand me .....
There was only one other set of cases where my ears used to get Vermillion-Red (even more than that) ... But, I won't disclose that to you guys ..... ;-)

Happiness is very rare yet very easily available ..... As if it resides within thin air, one moment it is here, next moment it is not ..... If you want to be happy you can be happy inspite of a thousand hindrances, and if you don't, then even God may seem like just another B-Grade comedian who himself laughs more than pulling out any of the jokes ......
However before understanding my point one has to remember that by 'Happiness' I wanted to mean complete Happiness that is where your conscience will be happy along with your straight and flat Logical Mind ..... You can not be happy, no matter how much do you try, if your conscience does not agree to your reason ...
If you could understand my point then I believe I have written the preface of my Book in a Comprehensive manner (Else the Book is not for You ... hi hi hi) ........

However Friends, today I was having a "very long" discussion with one of my colleagues where I have put up my point ... And for the entire "15" minutes of the discussion I was trying to explain my point ..... Getting frustrated over this philosophical (and may be traumatic to him) point to talk over, he politely asked me to compile all of my precious thinking together ..... hence you all get today's blabbering .........

To all of you, please don't curse me over phone after Midnight ........ Just scroll a little further down this blog and ... Voila ..... You have found a Link which leads a white piece of area to make your day as a red-letter one, by innovating some of the finest and most wonderful slangs which others will consider as something called as Comments .........

More later ... Time to go ....
Regards .....

Self Destruction Initiated - Count Down Begins

This is Ricky ... Hopelessly Hopeful .....
A unique guy ... just like the other 80 billion unique guys out there ...... Coming from a so-called "Third World" ... err ... sorry "Developing" country, where everyday some or other thing is just developing .....

Population Developing ... check ..... Frustration Developing ... check ..... Corruption Developing ... check ..... Idiocy Developing ... check ..... Racial/Cultural/Physical/Communal/Aesthetic/Sexual Discrimination Developing ... check ..... Hunger Developing ... check ..... Unemployment Developing ... check ..... Crime Developing ... check ..... Pre/Extra-Marital Affairs Developing ... check ..... HIV Developing ... check ..... etc. etc. Developing ... check ... check .... check ..... ohhhhh !!!!!!!! Its pathetic .....

Best of our Desi guys, "Cream of the Nation" salivates for a better life in the Foreign "First World" Countries ... They salivate for a better 'Fat Package' salary ... They salivate for the white hot chicks there ... They salivate for the liberal don't care lifestyle out there .....
Can't blame them totally ... Just think about the fact ... Usually they come from our Middle-Clas families (Upper-Class guys don't actually need themselves to scale up as they are already seating up, so they effectively shit out everywhere they go ... Lower class guys are usually trodden hard before they could stand on their own feet, usually so hard, that they lose their courage and belief to stand out any more ...) These Middle-Class guys study their fucking ass up throughout their best part in their Life, hoping to Enjoy a better Life after getting established ... After they get 'Established', what they find is that the best part of their Life when they could really Enjoy has silently passed, and some other guy is actually 'Enjoying' those moments ..... Our beloved 'Corrupted-Politician-led' Government won't provide them a salary that they deserve ... They will be simply waiting to chop out some Tax if they could ... Business is not these educated guys' forte ... they are too well-behaved and ashamed of any wrong mannerisms ..... Ego & Cultural patron hold their desires up as they see their beloved "Girls" get settled with some already Established guys ..... After getting terribly frustrated when they get along with their family duties, rites & rituals it just shites their fuzzy brain out ....... So, just like every brave 'Escapist' Middle Class guy they either flee out to West, or in other cases carry on their fringe life with monotonous Duty-bound schedule, while cursing their fucking Life & Fate in all possible opportunities .....

Enough Gyan ........... Someof you guys must be thinking, why this A*Hole is shitting out all these ...... isn't he the same ??? Isn't he just portraying yet another Hypocrite ........ Yes, friends ....... The Answer is may be I am the same (as above) ..... and may be "sometimes" I am not ..............

More later Friends .......